May Malaise

It's been a banner month of May. First I lost my Kindle, then my shoes and Friday night I lost my pride.

My apartment door happens to lock automatically and it's on a hair trigger, seriously it slams shut if you break wind near it. Anyways, Friday night I went to take out my trash and before I could grab my keys from the inside lock the door shut on me. After pondering my options (of which there were none), I introduced myself to my neighbors, who speak no english; not surprisingly they have a key to my apartment. Nevertheless since my keys where in the inside lock it was impossible to unlock my door from the outside. So after asking me 37 different ways in Russian why I was so stupid as to close my door with the keys in the lock on the inside, they proceeded to invite me into their apartment while we waited for my landlord, where I was offered my fill of rakia (booze) and cigarettes.

Eventually, after watching half an hour of Turkish soap operas and a few shots, my landlord showed up...only to encounter the same predicament. The next idea was to attempt to beat open my door (which aroused the interest of every other person in my building, who all wanted to know why I would do such a stupid, stupid thing. To which I just shook my head and said I was a "глупав американски" (gloopav americanski = stupid American)). Quickly realizing that I have the Ft. Knox of front doors our attention turned to my balcony (which was also locked), luckily for me though my balcony door proved a little more inviting to B&E than my front. Finally after taking nearly 2 hours and a village (or at least an apartment building's worth) of assistance, my neighbors and I scaled my balcony with some crowbars and determination and removed my door. Simple.

On a positive note, all my neighbors know me now. And I was invited to go out with some people the next night, which proved both awesome and exhausting. We went to a bar and saw a band (a blues/rock cover band, it was like Roadhouse), then when the band finished at 1:00 we went to a pub, when the pub closed at 2:00 we went to a disco, when the disco closed at 4:00 we went home. Finally. I am still tired.

Here's to June.